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Picking the perfect Mother’s Day card was always a challenge for me. I bypassed cards that said, “You’ve been the best influence ever” or “You’re my best friend.” While these are all beautiful sentiments, they didn’t reflect the relationship I had with my mom.
My mom and I were not close like many mothers and daughters are. I loved my mom and know, without a doubt, that she loved me. But some of life’s dark twists and turns either derailed us and our relationship or stopped us from having a meaningful relationship at all. Over the years we learned to appreciate one other for who we were. While we may have desired Norman Rockwell-like family moments, we learned to settle for awkward silence; accept what we had as a gift.
Ironically, our relationship grew when we learned not to expect from each other what the other couldn’t give. We discovered–then called out–our own expectations.
My favorite picture of Mom.
Expectations ~ the human side of shoulds or oughts ~ cause so many relational problems. Expectations can even ruin relationships. But Christ’s divine guidance offers standards that set everything right.
Simply put, offer honor. Follow God’s expectations, not one another’s.
Apostle Paul says in Ephesians, “Honor your father and mother” ~ which is the first commandment with a promise ~ “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” (6:2-3 NIV)
The love I have for my mom is difficult to explain. But it’s unshakeable. It isn’t about cards, flowers, or ooey-gooey sentiments. It’s about my choice to love. God tells me to, and that’s enough of a reason.
The love I have for my mother is difficult to explain, but it's unshakeable. Click To Tweet
Mom as a teenager … there’s a story somewhere in this picture.
This will be the first Mother’s Day I won’t be fretting over picking the right card. Mom went home to Glory in December of last year. I now find comfort in my memories.
If your mother is still with you and your relationship is less than what you want, Mother’s Day may be difficult. Rest in the knowledge that when we follow God’s word, Life is good. Mother’s Day is good. Dig deep into your memories. Pull up one–just one–happier time. Do what you can to enjoy Mother’s Day.
And do your best to find that perfect Mother’s Day card.
Do you feel like you don’t matter? Are you happy … or are you doing what you never thought you’d do? Do you see consistencies … or are you all over the place? Drop me a line. I’d love to chat.
Struggling to find good in your life? Check out my award-winning book, God’s Best During Your Worst, or check out any of my other books on my Book page.
Thoughts come spilling out, typos and all.
The Conversation
Beautifully said, Robin. It makes sense on so many levels. Thank you for sharing! For me? I will always remember her giggle/laugh and those Butler chop suey rolls and donuts she’d bring to our house on Fridays! Love you!!
Love you too! I hope your Mother’s Day was delightful. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a note. 🙂
Robin: my relationship with my mom is exactly the same as you had with yours…highs, lows, dark times, sad times…being disowned on multiple occasions than finding our way back…I am now her caregiver and she lives with us…her time is short as she has Stage 4 cancer…and I am cherishing every minute…guess making up for lost time. I always struggled to find the right card, and usually could find one that wasn’t too mushy or over the top, same with Birthday cards…but she will be celebrating her 100th BD on Mother’s Day this yr. And since this will be her last I am making it be her best…regrets yes for all the years that could of been but would I change it I dont think so because it showed me the kind of mother I wanted to be for my kids…my kids always heard I love you (I never did except from my dad and he died in 1958)…I spent time with my kids, did things with them, encouraged them to be the best they could be and never belittled them…and in doing so they have done the same with their kids ..hopefully I started a new tradition for them as some of their kids now have kids of their own and they show the same love for theirs I did of mine…I wanted to break that mold and I believe I did…even to this day I always tell my kids I love you….
I never knew that about your family dynamics, Deb. I’m sorry there was so much pain. But it sounds like your kids are learning from the life lessons you learned along the way. Celebrate and enjoy your momma this Mother’s Day weekend. Thanks for the reply.