See what I have to say.
Let me know what you want to say about it.
What an incredible roller-coaster ride of emotions I experienced when I realized I still had a life after the eleventh day when they discovered my brain tumor. That was when they greeted me with, “I’m sorry; Mrs. Luftig, but you have a tumor on your brain about the size of my fist. Do you want a priest, or could I call the hospital chaplain for you?”
Just hours earlier, my husband and I had planned our weekend activities without a care. Now Lew stood helplessly beside me as I lay in my Emergency Room bed listening as a doctor continued. “You have a tumor—a meningioma—nestled under the right frontal area of your skull and need surgery right away to remove it before there’s irreversible damage.”
After the tenth day came and went, I learned to put plans to the side and appreciate what is most important–to embrace the todays as they came.
While I had days—ten days—to prepare myself for this surgery, I also used that time to see what was important. Because I only had a little more than a week to do all I hoped to do, experience anything I still wanted to experience, and say whatever I still needed to say to those who needed to hear from me, I needed to process all those feelings down to the core of my being. Because I had no guarantee I would survive the surgery, I needed to see the importance in the here-and-now.
After that eleventh day, I dealt with excruciating pain that throbbed through my skull. My arms were black and blue from various IVs. More importantly, I had so many unknowns.
Would I be able to talk?
Would I have control over voluntary muscles?
Could I put thoughts together coherently?
I only knew for sure that I needed to pull close to God.
Slowly my strength did begin to return. Weeks after the surgery, my first excursion was to church. Lew and I were the last ones in the building and the first one out, but I made it. From there, I began maneuvering through a grocery store with Lew. But even relying on the grocery cart for support, I only had enough energy to walk a few paces.
As time passed my walking ability began to improve, as did my dexterity, stamina, and memory. After five years, I have found a new normal. A blessed normal.
As I look back to my surgery and period of recovery, I realized a gift more precious than I ever imagined: a glimpse into my own mortality. I also learned to recognize true the importance of friends, family, and a loving Savior. And God blessed me with a new life after the eleventh day.
[box] I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14[/box]
What do you wonder about? Are you happy … or are you doing what you never thought you’d do? Do you see consistencies … or are you all over the place? Drop me a line. I’d love to chat.
Struggling to find good in your life? Check out my award-winning book, God’s Best During Your Worst, or check out any of my other books on my Book page.
Thoughts come spilling out, typos and all.
