Asking for God's Blessings

Why is it I tend to only talk about the God I see in the rear-view mirror?
It’s easy to share stories of His presence after I’ve crested a hill or made it through the latest crisis. But I’ve come to realize that’s when the victory ends up being about me. My relationship with Christ. My answered prayer. My faith that sustained me. See what I mean–rear-view mirror.
Pathetic, just pathetic.
I want to have a confidence in the God of my today. He’s constant. It’s my pain, fear, and sometimes lack of faith that I struggle with. I am a broken person. I need to seek God’s face.
Lean in and I’ll whisper a secret fear to you. Will God think I’m crazy and selfish if I ask him to answer the prayer of my heart? I can’t tell others about my prayers to God because what would they think of me if the prayers don’t get answered? Maybe I’m asking with a self-serving heart? Maybe I’m spending too much time asking for my glory instead of His?
Then it came to me: It’s not the size of the ask, it’s the condition of the heart when I ask. I need to check on my heart when I go to God and not wait until the the blessing has played out. Half the blessing is in the process. The other half comes when I can see it.
In reading Torry Martin’s book, “Of Moose and Men” (Harvest House, 2016), a line jumped off the page and into my heart, “…God doesn’t just answer prayers. He sometimes exceeds our measly requests so that our cup may runneth over.” Torry shares stories of his life–as well as his best friend Rob and faithful dog, Sam–in Alaska and how God used challenges to show His presence.
I need to remember that God’s always awesome—always! I need to remember that it’s me and my self-run focus that gets in the way of receiving the blessings God has for me. He wants to bless me, and I want to be open to His blessing.
Just as in Mark 9:24, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”
I love it when a book changes my heart. That happened with this one. Give it a read. You’ll be blessed by it, too.  And together we can tell of God’s blessings for us while we’re climbing our hills.