Amends Are Always Heard

My palms were clammy as I knocked on her door. She and I had been friends years ago, but bad life choices I had made years earlier had separated us. Would she entertain rekindling a relationship with me again? Would my amendment be heard?

What I Wanted …

I wanted to tell her I was sorry for doing the things I had done—that I hoped she could forgive me for all my foolishness and sinful behavior. I wanted to tell her I realized that I hadn’t taken into consideration how others would be affected by my actions. That I now know I had made a real mess of things—my life. Bottom line, I wanted to tell her that I was sorry.

Beyond that, I also wanted to tell her there was good news to my story. That I had learned from my mistakes. Turned a corner. I was now on the way to becoming the person God intended me to be. My hope was she’d be happy for me and hopefully celebrate a Prodigal Daughter finding her way back home. That’s what I wanted. But that’s not what I got.

…But What I Got

When she opened the door, her eyes gave her away–first of unrecognition, then of remembrance. I saw it flash across her face as she remembered me. Then came the frozen smile. The smile one reserves for those we have to be kind to but would prefer not to know. Her lips smiled while her eyes shot daggers. She stepped outside, not letting me into her house.

The Conversation

“Hi, it’s been a long time. How are you?” I asked, trying to warm the coolness between us.

“Good. Good.” Then with a polite, hushed voice, “You look good.”

I asked about her family. Her brothers and sisters. Her children and husband. I knew them all and had laughed over dinner with all of them. I had tucked her children to bed at night. She and I had been like sisters. Once.

“Good, good. We’re all good here.”

I took a deep breath. “I’m here to tell you I’m sorry about making a mess of things years ago. I did things that set into motion consequences I didn’t understand. And, well, I hurt you.” I reached for her hand. “Can you forgive me? I’d like to make things right between us again. Could you see your way to giving me a second chance?”

There it was

There it was. I had exposed my emotional underbelly. I felt my chest tightening, waiting for her response. Every fiber in me wanted to hear that she’d allow me to earn her trust back. That’s when it happened: she pulled back, blinked, and looked down. “Don’t be silly, we’re good. I’m sorry, but I have … something to do. I have to go.”

“Maybe we can have coffee sometime?” I needed time to follow up and tell her about how I had changed. I had given my life to Christ and was a new creature. I wanted to see her authentic smile again.

But her painted smile remained. “Oh, I don’t know,” she purred.” My days are pretty full. But it was good to see you. Yeah, it was … good. Take care of yourself. I’ll give you a call sometime.”

With that, she backed into her house, closed and locked the door behind her.

Has This Ever Happened to You?

Sometimes situations don’t go as planned. You follow your script, offer repentance—true repentance—and even ask for suggestions on how to rebuild trust. You open up to being become vulnerable and transparent. And the door still closes in your face. You experience Christian invisibility—when you’re told things are good, but clearly they aren’t.

Forgiveness is for the person forgiving as much as the person who is forgiven Click To Tweet

Painful—yes. Not what you expect—yes. But all lost? Absolutely not!

Forgiveness is for the person forgiving as much as the person who is forgiven, and so are the effects of making amends. You may walk up to a door as I did and suffer the same shame and heartbreak but know–without a doubt–that the amendment did not go unnoticed. Apostle Paul tells us how to live as Christ designed in Romans 12:18, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” As far as it depends on you. Those words carry power and freedom.

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Romans 12:18

Don’t Lose Focus

If past friends shut you out of their lives because of the choices you made in the past, please never ever forget that those sins were covered by Jesus’ blood when he died for our sins.

If you need to walk up to a door like I did, know your audience includes Christ Jesus himself! He sees you and feels your conviction and broken spirit when you offer to make a relationship right. Know that even if your amends to your past friend isn’t enough for them—it was enough for Him. While He doesn’t take away consequences, He does take away shame.

When making amends doesn’t seem to be enough, focus on whose opinion counts the most. Focus on Christ. And if you do not know Christ, oh, friend, please ask to know him right now. Your heart will forever be changed.

repost from 06/13/2016

While You’re Here …

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