Why I Quit Devotionals

Robin Gilbert Luftig:

I love being challenged, and Kim’s blog routinely does just that. I dare you to read her latest blog and not feel her stepping on your toes once or twice. If you didn’t feel it, maybe you aren’t being as honest with yourself as you should.

Thanks, Kim, for putting words to a frustrating feeling many experience.

Originally posted on Kim's Blog:

I have officially quit reading devotionals! I think they are great resources, I think they’ve helped a lot of people (myself included) make sense of things in life, and I believe for the most part that those that write them are called to do so, to share their message. So why in the world would I give up on them? For a number of reasons actually, but mainly, I found they were hindering my spiritual growth.

Please let me explain.

1. I was getting frustrated that I could only go as deep as Sara Young did. Or Beth Moore. Or whoever wrote the Daily Bread that day. My growth stopped where theirs stopped. I was framing my mind to think like them, to see the world and God how they did. My daily dose of “hang in there” was coming from Max Lucado, not from Jesus himself. Devotionals became where…

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Survival’s Guilt

ShoesSurvivors of tragedy see the significance of a new day—its beauty and splendor—clearer than others. I say that not to boast, just as an observation. Every morning when I’m in that almost-wake state but not ready to open my eyes, I thank God for giving me the opportunity to welcome another day. I am also cognizant that greeting the day does not guarantee putting it to bed. Years ago a good friend told me of her husband’s passing saying, “You may put your shoes on in the morning, but never know who will take them off at the end of the day.” I thought that was a powerful statement then and it took on even more strength after I was diagnosed with meningioma (tumor on the brain).

I rarely challenge gratitude in my life. I do, however, have times of struggle when it comes to survival’s guilt.

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Waiting

Oreo 1My dog, Oreo, was a master at waiting. But for me, waiting–especially for medical news–is the worst. It’s where you’re stuck in limbo between reality and fantasy. Will test numbers show the tumor’s back or will it still be gone? Will the MRI come back clean or will there be a cloud we need to address? Without a doubt, waiting’s the worst.

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Where’s the Sun for You?

DSC00090How can the sun come up when I have a brain tumor? Why do birds sing even though I’ve been dealt this horrific blow?

I asked these questions and more when I found out about my meningioma. Life wasn’t fair. I had just come to the most wonderful stage in my life. My husband and I were making plans for our future and the kids were grown with the youngest in college.

Then the bottom fell out. Continue reading

A Word of Caution

I read lots of blogs on lots or different subjects. I comment on some and repost others if I think they are pertinent to the audience that reads my blog.

I’m forwarding the latest post on a blog from Novel Rocket and Kellie Coates Gilbert as she offers sage advice about cyber-security.   Times have changed and anyone who is on social media needs to aware. While we’re here to support each other, me must remember that there are cyber bad guys watching. It’s not a time to be paranoid, just informed.

Being a Christian and Dealing with a Brain Tumor

2011-04-10 01.59.03-1I love being a Christian. Without getting all theological, it’s pretty cool. I have peace. I don’t feel the need to worry. I get to experience a super-awesome kind of love.

So what happened that brought on a brain tumor?
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The Loneliness that Comes with Brain Tumors

prayer

April 2011 was the beginning of a new phase—the brain tumor phase—of my life. Since then all life events are measured from that point. Happenings occur BBT (before brain tumor), PBS (in preparation of brain surgery) or ABT (after brain tumor).

During PBS I thought I had a good comprehension of what would be happening and why it needed to happen. Simply stated, I needed to get the fist-sized tumor off my brain, then I needed to recover. But I had no preparation for what non-surgical side effect came with the procedure. Continue reading