Life after a Brain Tumor

2011-04-10 01.59.03It isn’t new anymore.

Loss of balance is now the norm. I’ve learned to take a cloth with me so when my hand trails the walls, I won’t leave smudges. When I hand wash dishes, I make sure they’re unbreakable. When I need to remember specifics, I write them down so when I forget them—because I always do—I won’t feel guilty.

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Watching as Time Goes By

back to school graphicSchool has started again in most areas. I remember the many first days—for my eldest through to my youngest.

All those days between first days are gone now. I remember so many fondly. But it’s the first days that seem magical. Watching the kids’ excitement over new supplies. Seeing the their faces light up when they talk about the newness of the next grade.

Did I do everything right? Far from it. Did I make the most of what God offered me? Not even close.

Somewhere in the recesses of my mind I knew this day would come. These days I sometimes walk through department stores this time of year and watch other mommies shop with frantic looks on their faces while their kids act embarrassed to be seen with them. It’s their turn to experience their own first days.

Embrace each moment. Cherish all the experiences, because each one is beautiful in its own way. And if you see a lady watching and smiling, never mind, it’s probably me. I’m remembering the firsts days of school I experienced years ago.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Facing the Truth from Obituaries

siloetted coupleI follow obituaries. That’s what older people do.

Ah, I remember her, what a shame, or He lived a good life, bless him.

But today I read the obit of a fellow who had a crush on me in high school. He was sweet and kind, and I broke his heart as young and foolish high school girls sometimes do. Continue reading

Slowing Down with Purpose

slow downRush here. Push to get through there. Check your watch—you still may have time to fit one more stop in before you’re late.

This summer has been packed with activity, going from one state to another visiting family and friends. All of it was good, but somewhere along the way I lost a sense of purpose.

There was a day not too long ago I savored each moment because I didn’t know how many more moments were left for me.

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What Do You See in the Eyes of Your Children?

eyesIt’s amazing how grownups think they know everything. How we know what’s right for everyone. Dad’s work long hours to provide trinkets and baubles for the family. Moms stay busy “finding themselves”.

If you have a moment to spend on Twitter, search #Hatedivorce and see what comes up. My heart broke when I read all the posts from kids who wanted nothing more than a healthy home life.

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A Reminder of a Father’s Love

J. G. Gilbert & Robin Gilbert Luftig at Lake Lavine, MI, Summer 1958

J. G. Gilbert & Robin Gilbert Luftig at Lake Lavine, MI, Summer 1958

To celebrate Father’s Day, I’m re-posting a blog I shared that exemplified my relationship with my father. I’d love to hear stories from you about the relationship you have (or had) with yours. I pray it was as loving as mine was …

How do I say …?

I sometimes wish I could change my world.

Going through brain surgery to remove a ginormous tumor—and living a blessed life afterward—gives me a glimpse of the realization that not everyone is as fortunate as I am.

Without a doubt, I thank God every morning before my feet hit the floor for the opportunity to live one more day. I understand what it’s like to see the possible end of my life come into focus. I understand what comes with looking out into the “ever after”.

But God showed me favor. Continue reading