Dealing With Survivor’s Guilt

How could the sun come up when I had a brain tumor? Why did birds sing even though I dealt with this horrific blow? Those were some of my thoughts when I was in the midst of dealing with Survivor’s Guilt.

I asked these questions and more when I survived surgery for my brain tumor (meningioma). While I was thrilled I came through surgery and had a pretty good prognosis, I saw clearly that Life wasn’t fair. What had I done that made God want to give me a second chance? In 2011, I had just come to the most wonderful stage in my life. My husband and I were making plans for our future and the kids were grown with the youngest in college.

Then the bottom fell out. But I was offered grace.

Processing guilt was one of my most difficult burdens to carry. Even though my surgery was ten years ago, my heart still aches when a warrior I’ve met loses their battle with a brain tumor. Most assuredly, know that my heart leaps and rejoices when I hear about MRI’s coming back clean.

But it’s looking in the eye of someone who just got the news that their cancer wasn’t getting any better that has always caused an extra pain in my heart.

 

Here’s a Secret

When preparing for God’s Best During Your Worst, I did years of research and reading. Why do bad things happen to good people?

My heart landed on the Message’s Lamentations 3:22-24, “God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out, his merciful love couldn’t have dried up. They’re created new every morning. How great your faithfulness!  I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over). He’s all I’ve got left.” 

Even though the tumor is gone He’s still all I’ve got left.

Tomorrow the sun will come up again, and  I thank God for what experiences I am blessed with. Don’t let dealing with Survivor’s Guilt get you down. Even today, when I see the morning I have no delusion that I am promised to see the sunset that evening. So I rejoice in what I have.

 

What say you?

What do you wonder about?  Are you happy … or are you doing what you never thought you’d do? Do you see consistencies … or are you all over the place? Drop me a line. I’d love to chat.

Struggling to find good in your life? Check out my award-winning book, God’s Best During Your Worst, or check out any of my other books on my Book page.