Asking to See

Have you had to walk away when all you wanted was to curl up and cry? Or maybe you didn’t know what you wanted. Watch transparency in action. Can you relate?

BeautyBeyondBones

I don’t know how it got to be today.

How, after being home here for five months after my mother’s stroke, that I am packing up my things to return to NYC.

I’m going to be honest, I haven’t even made it through the socks and underwear yet, and I’ve already cried twice.

I was not expecting this. Returning to New York is supposed to be joyous. Full of celebratory anticipation. And yet, why do I feel my heart is shattering?

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I was driving home from getting groceries today when an Audrey Assad song came on: Lead, Kindly Light. And one of the lyrics really stopped me in my tracks:

Here in the dark, I do not ask to see.”

I rolled that over and over in my mind. And I realized, that’s just what I’ve been doing during my time here at home. Things were dark – I was…

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