Facing the Truth from Obituaries

siloetted coupleI follow obituaries. That’s what older people do.

Ah, I remember her, what a shame, or He lived a good life, bless him.

But today I read the obit of a fellow who had a crush on me in high school. He was sweet and kind, and I broke his heart as young and foolish high school girls sometimes do. Reading the summary of his life in the few paragraphs offered, I was glad to see he had found what I hoped was true love with someone else. He had grown children and grandchildren to mourn his passing.

He was a wonderful person and I hurt him. And now I will never be able to tell him I’m sorry.

It’s important to address those you have harmed. Not just for their benefit, but for your own. I had not seen this young man for over forty years and the shame of what I had done caught my breath upon reading of his death. Ironically, I would not be surprised if he had completely forgotten about me and how I had hurt him. He had moved on. His obituary said so. His picture showed him smiling that same grin I would recognize anywhere.

Rest in peace, my friend. Please forgive me for being as self-absorbed as I was. You deserved better than what I could offer then. I’m glad you found it.

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