Those were the words that started a new journey of questioning … searching … confirming God’s place in my life. I thought I had dealt with my share of brokenness. Not just with my early years of emotional brokenness due to living in a dysfunctional family followed by years of bad decisions, but the physical brokenness that I experienced just last year, going through brain surgery to remove a tumor the size of my fist. I thought I had figured life out. I knew that God was with me in April 2011. I knew he loved me and had a plan for my life. I thought life from here on would be smooth sailing.
How pathetic! What arrogance filled my heart!
Here I was facing a physical crisis again. A nodule was discovered on my thyroid. I realized I needed to go through the process again; the process of accepting God’s purpose for my life. I had to once again embrace—with humility—the fact that I did not know what tomorrow held for me. I had to revisit prayers that I offered to God earlier; prayers of complete acceptance and thankfulness. I read scripture with a new hunger. I knew Truth was the only thing that could carry me through this valley. And the most wonderful thing happened. The scriptures that I always loved took on new life; a brilliance that filled my soul. I was reminded of an important lesson: I need Christ not because I’m broken again, but because I’m broken still.
I still have the nodule on my thyroid. I am scheduled to have a fine-needle biopsy and have penciled a date for surgery … just in case I need it. But Truth is still the same; God is always there, and he has a plan just for me.
I’m totally on board for that!